New Adventures of A'Merkin Maid

Batman had the Joker. I have Myself.

heat-house:

"I um, I just wanted… I needed you… I wanted you to…"

"You need me to what?"

To love and kiss, to sweetly hold,
For the dancing and the dreaming.
Through all my sorrows and all nights,
I’ll keep your love inside me.

whatwouldkhaleesiwear:

What Would Margaery Wear?Marchesa rose and vines gown, Fall 2014

whatwouldkhaleesiwear:

What Would Margaery Wear?
Marchesa rose and vines gown, Fall 2014

accidently:

accidently:

littlebreadstick:

accidently:

my seventeenth birthday is in a few weeks…and I’m actually kind of sad…i really like being sixteen

but if your sixteen you cant be the dancing queen

thank u little bread stick that made me feel better 

image

this is the best thing to happen to one of my text posts

wolfwithafoxtail:

People think feminism means that there’s a group of women somewhere that want to take trousers with pockets away from men and give them to women, and give men trousers with fake pockets, while in reality feminism is the general idea that everyone should have trousers with pockets, because pockets are awesome.

r-o-c-k-a-b-i-l-l-y:

Dita’s Kitchen ❤

r-o-c-k-a-b-i-l-l-y:

Dita’s Kitchen ❤

my problem is my mamma raised me far too nice
to ever wish death on somebody, regardless of how much
they’d harmed me so instead i’m compiling a list
of odd karmatic punishments
for the assholes of my existence like

i hope the girl who ruined my senior year of high school
by bullying the hope out of my bones
has a bad hair day on every first date. i hope
the words she said behind my back tangle around
her head so when people meet her for the first time
they can see how unkind
she really is.

my mother and my father were talking in public
and a policeman asked her if she wanted the
‘dirty hispanic’ to leave her alone
and i really hope that policeman goes home
to heat that never works properly and that
the cold makes his bones ache, i hope the
warmth of my daddy’s sun never kisses
the sweaty temples of men who use their
position of power as an excuse to be racist

the man who hit me until i bled from the
corners of my mouth and who kissed me no matter
how much i asked him to stop better constantly get
his dick stuck in his zipper and i hope a large rash
develops because of it because maybe being
in constant pain will make him learn
some empathy

i want the teacher who told my friend joe
‘you can’t be a boy just because you say so’
to spill overheated 99-cent coffee on her ironed skirt
every other thursday, i hope it stains because
her words never washed out of his ears either

i hope the boy who broke my heart is
doing well, because i’m doing well too, but i want
the boy who broke my sister by promising forever
when he really meant ‘just until you give me everything’
to get a tattoo with a misspelling
just because i think it would be funny
since he was so afraid of commitment

the man who told my friend to kill herself, to just get it over
should wake up to a leak in his roof
that has no particular origin and constantly drips
onto his face no matter where he moves his pillow to
because maybe then he’ll have some idea about
drowning

i hope the people who told my brother
he couldn’t succeed
solely based on his disability
constantly hit their heads when getting into the car,
i want them to blink back little black dots
and wonder what they’ve ever done wrong to deserve
this and then i want them to see my brother’s company
on a full-page spread because he’s twenty-four and
making more money than they ever did

my math teacher told me most girls are stupid
with numbers and i hope his wife is funneling large
sums of his money into an offshore account without
him noticing while my english teacher told me
he didn’t expect much because i’m not a native speaker
so i really hope in class one day
he unknowingly passes out one of my poems

and i hope if you’ve been hurt, your life has
turned around. keep your head up,
square your shoulders, trust that
the universe will find some way to sort things out. hold on
until your heart mends. regardless of what happens,
know that happiness
is the best revenge.

I can’t wish true evil or true evil will come back to me but that doesn’t mean I want assholes to go around happy /// r.i.d | inkskinned (via inkskinned)(via 10sirk)

Richard Armitage for Esquire

Cause every girls crazy bout a sharp dressed man…

2damnfeisty:

abcnewsofficial:

coreydrake:

After the second trick I would have walked my black ass down to the Dairy Queen. #WhoHasTheTime

I was sitting here getting more and more stressed with each gif lmfao

Okay. Don’t none of this shit happen at Coldstone.

And I thought it was impressive that the people at Amy’s toss the ball of ice cream in the air and catch it on the cone.

imsirius:

"This might be the highlight of my life… It’s up there. It’s right up there." - 6-time Tony winner Audra McDonald interrupts an interview with Daniel Radcliffe and puts him under her spell +

… I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to master that skill…

lotus